she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
