suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
