hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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