i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
