hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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