In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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