I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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