I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
