it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
