ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
