i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
