Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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