there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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