Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
