TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
