Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
