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he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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