we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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