This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
