There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
