Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
