remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
