Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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