He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
