I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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