you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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