I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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