problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
