So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
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i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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