um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
