so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
vagina is talking i cant
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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