My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's great music for shaving your balls
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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