There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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