i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
