are you still at the devil's house?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
