your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
its not stalking. its research.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i think my cat just said my name.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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