mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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