I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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