you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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