Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
