im about as happy as oj after his trial
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
