It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
