I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
