just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize