We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize