Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
