we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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