I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
