I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
