This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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