I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize