bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
