remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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