quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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