Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
