hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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