can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
