I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
