SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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